Natural Birth & Condemning Attitudes

I had an interesting conversation with a pregnant friend of mine about natural childbirth. She had come from a community where the general opinion was very pro-natural childbirth. My friend has chosen medicated hospital births for her three children, and has felt good about her experiences. She commented that the group of women she knew who "preached" natural childbirth carried with them condemning attitudes of those who chose medicated birth. The women presented their childbirth convictions with an air of "we know better than you", and left those opposing feeling inferior and pressured to be like minded.

My friend asked me why so many woman who practice natural childbirth carry with them an air of condemnation towards those who may not desire the natural route.

I thought about this for quite some time. First of all, is what she says true? Do many of us, who practice natural childbirth, have condemning attitudes towards those who don't think like us?

Of course I can't point fingers or speak for the masses, but these lofty airs are often put out by any passionate person who believes deeply in a cause or idea. However, sometimes these lofty airs are only perceptions, usually because the idea is so foreign or opposing to our own. It is normal to talk about what we care for. We talk about our kids, whatever fills up our days, and hopefully, our faith. When you learn about natural childbirth, the ideas are exciting and inspiring. What do we do when we're excited and inspired? Talk and talk and talk. When we find a group of people who hold to those same exciting and inspiring ideas, the talking only grows. It is easy, in these situations, to forget that not everyone around us is on board with our ideas. We can easily assume that because we are flying high on information, everyone else is as well. This is the perfect storm for spewing our passions on everyone else around us, allowing both condemning, or seemingly condemning thoughts to be spewed as well. With natural childbirth specifically, one is usually completely sold and committed to the idea. This full blown commitment can add extra fire to our childbirth conversations.

Regardless of how passionately I believe in natural childbirth, I would never want to burn bridges or hurt friends who do not hold the same passion. Is having an unmedicated birth the only way? No. Our culture allows us the option of choosing our approach to birth.

Here's the way I see it:

I do not think a woman is less of a woman or a bad mother for choosing a medicated birth. I do not think I am more of a woman or a better mother for choosing an unmedicated birth.

I do, however, believe in the value of natural childbirth for both baby and mother. Taking responsibility and actively participating in childbirth is an amazing gift and a rite of passage for any woman blessed enough to give birth.

I hope that whenever the subject arises I can keep the conversation just that, a conversation, free of passing guilt or condemnation. I think it is of great importance for women to continue the conversation of childbirth active. It is how we learn and understand the significance of childbirth on our lives as beautifully designed and empowered women.

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