I am turning 24 tomorrow, yet still feel like that whiny kid discontent and ready to arrive. I long for maturity and the things of a godly woman, a saint who's pores sweat Christlikeness.
My desire to "arrive" often leaves me discouraged and overwhelmed. I have so far to go! The road to "there" is forever away, an endless road. In my romantic head I picture my life full of cheerful kidos and loving husband, daily adventures of Bible reading, people loving, music playing, dreams and beauty. But in the reality of the moment, with two under two, a husband at work, loving less and seeing only chaos and my sin, my feet seem unable to take a single step down the road to sainthood.
Deep breath, see the cross.
God is about sanctification. I am not there yet, only a work in progress, His work at work. I can practice, sweat out sin, forgiven, given opportunities to change out of this old self. I can enjoy this journey, even amidst the seemingly imperfect moment, for it is in this moment where saint stuff happens.
I have been made a saint. Now I can grow because He is the grower of good things and He has made me new.
My 24th year will be one made of saint-moments, I pray. Moments of choosing to bear Spirit-fruit instead of sour tasting wasted blessings because I was slow to see Him there amidst it all.
And He is here.
